Am I Preparing My Child for a Super Education?
by Jason Caros | February 12, 2024
The following was shared with parents at Founders Classical Academy in a weekly headmaster update shortly after the 2024 Super Bowl...
I have to admit that as a deflated Dallas Cowboys fan I was not especially interested in this year’s Super Bowl, so I watched bits and pieces of it while focusing on other interests. In these off years, and there have been something like twenty-eight of them now, I generally watch the pregame events, so I viewed those yesterday. I also usually tune in for at least part of the halftime show, not so much for the entertainment but to gain a pulse on our larger culture, so I watched that as well. Finally, in terms of the game itself, I saw the kick-off, I tuned in every now and then to see the score, and I was even able to catch the exciting conclusion. It seems to me that that’s how a championship game should finish. If the best two teams are in it, the game ought to be close and come down to the wire. Congratulations to the Chiefs!
One thing that I considered while watching the game and listening to commentary about the players is what it takes for athletes to play professional football, never mind making it to the Super Bowl. I read a statistic one time that indicated that only about 7 percent of high school athletes play at the collegiate level of any sort and only 1.6 percent of collegiate football players end up playing professional football in the National Football League (another stat suggested that the chances are smaller, at about .2 percent). Professional football players are, therefore, elite in their sport. They are also committed! They have natural God-given talents, to be sure, but in order to make it to the top they have to completely dedicate themselves to becoming the best football players they can become. The time they put into fitness, practices, travel, learning about their sport and positions, the sacrifices they make that enable them to focus on their target… It’s all very impressive.
Then I thought, “to what extent do I put my all into the most important things in my life”—my faith, my family, my vocation, etc.? Have I achieved anything near a level of excellence in any of these areas? Do I put first things first?
When it comes to living well as human beings, these are questions we all ought to ask ourselves periodically, and act accordingly. That is, we should regularly move in a direction of self-improvement. A no less significant inquiry involves our precious children. When it comes to parenting and educating them, are we setting them on a path toward excellence as we lead them in their moral and academic formation? Are we properly preparing our children to become elite adults? I don’t mean “elite” in a competitive sort of way—I simply mean it in a way that makes them truly good people who make a positive impact on those around them. Like the football player with a laser beam focus who makes it into the NFL, to what extent do we dedicate ourselves to being the best parents we can be so that our children have a chance to become the best people they can be?
If I’m honest, my own reflection reveals a mixed self-diagnostic. While I suspect I have done a good number of things pretty well, my human flaws have sometimes gotten in the way of parenting excellence. Thankfully, my wife, family, friends and lots of educators along the way have been around to pick up some of my slack. With that said, going back to periodic self-assessment, it is vital to check oneself and to course correct, as needed. In this spirit, I leave you with a question about time on task and a handful of others for self-inquiry in a particular area of parenting, the education of children in school. I ask these questions from the vantage point of a parent—I’m the parent of one Founders graduate and a current senior, as well as from the perspective of a (very) long-time educator. In my various school roles over the years, and as headmaster in my twelfth year at this school, I have gotten to know many parents and to glean some practical parenting insights from their experiences, so I hope the following are helpful considerations.
The first question is about time on task: As children are strongly influenced and formed by others and the content they consume each day—content on a screen, in the airwaves, in a book and so on—do I spend enough time observing and guiding my children, spending quality time with them, vetting their friends and examining what they spend time doing and how much time they devote to their various activities, so that I can be the primary influencer in my children’s lives, so that good inputs are going into my children's minds and hearts, and to help them to avoid toxic influences?
Here are the questions specific to school:
Do I help my children develop good and realistic goals for school and for their lives, in general? Do I help my children to have a North Star in life?
Do I provide the fundamental supports that enable my children to be attentive and to prosper in school: good sleep and nutrition, proper school supplies, and punctuality and consistent and regular attendance?
Do I encourage my children to do their best each day, to complete their schoolwork with excellence?
Do I teach my children that there is a proportional relationship between the efforts they put into things and the results of those efforts?
Do I urge my children to follow school rules and guidelines, to listen to and respect their teachers, and to be kind to their classmates?
Do I allow my child to grow in self-sufficiency and self-advocacy over time or do I delay their maturation as a helicopter or lawnmower parent?
Do I inspire my children to get up when they fall down, to learn from their challenges and their mistakes, and to always seek paths to overcome obstacles (in academic and other struggles)?
Do I have a sense of when I may be pushing my children too hard, or not enough, when it comes to success in school?
Do I communicate with my children’s teachers and others on campus in a spirit of trust and collaboration?
Do I ensure that my children experience balance in their lives outside of school: family time, religious or civic life, exercise and other leisure activities?
Returning to NFL players, while their efforts to reach the pinnacle of their sport is highly commendable and inspiring, there is nothing more important for parents to focus on than raising children to become the very best men and women they can become. Each of our children has been endowed with gifts, but many of their abilities and talents are latent. It is up to us to direct and encourage them to tap into them and to cultivate them. Success in school, as in life, is not rocket science, but it takes sustained effort. It is often hard, but as many of our teachers have posted on their classroom boards at various times during the school year: “We do hard things.”
Jason Caros is a husband, father and classical school headmaster at Founders Classical Academy of Lewisville, Texas.